Fuckin' guilty conscience!!!
Some times I can't STAND my ass! No, I don't mean my ASS, I mean myself. So, I'm driving back from Brielle's appointment today (whole 'nother bitch session in itself!) and I come the a stop light. There is this old guy on the corner panhandling. His sign says, "I'm 71 and an American...blah, blah, blah...". At first I didn't even think twice about him. My only real concern was that he was old and it was cold outside. But THEN the guy in the truck behind me slips him a dollar. So I start thinking to myself:
"Come on, Jenna, you can spare a dollar."
"You know I could, but I have two kids to take care of."
"Yeah, but what if he has kids?"
"If he has kids, they're old enough to take care of his ass! They could at least put his ass in a home!"
"He probably doesn't have kids."
"Yeah, you're probably right."
(Also thrown in there were a few thought about the fact that I have some coupons for a free chicken sandwich from Chick-fil-A and maybe he'd like a couple.)
Ok, so I may be SLIGHTLY crazy....but only a little! Anyway, the rest of the ride home I just kept thinking that I should've, at least, given him a dollar. DAMN MY GUILTY CONSCIENCE!!! I always feel bad if I don't go out of my way to help someone I could've. It goes so far as I was at the commisary and this older lady was trying to park her car, but couldn't get it straight. I was waiting to walk past her to go into the store and she just kind of looked at me so I mouthed, "Do you need some help?" And she gave me the biggest, most grateful looking smile. She got out of her car, and I SQUEEEEZED myself (seriously, I'm 5'10" and this lady was maybe, MAYBE 5'3") into the drives seat (I didn't want to move the seat) and parked her boat of a car for her. She gave me a big ol' smile and said how hard it is to park in the tiny spaces (mind you, this was a handcap spot :D ). She was so sweet. And then everytime she saw me inside, she'd stop and chat for a minute. I love doing stuff that makes people smile. Maybe that's why I'm always cracking jokes. Either that or I have nothing intellectual or relevent to contribute. But whatever.
I have to finish this up, but I just found out we're having unexpected company so I have to go home and straighten up the house! Hopefully I'll get a minute tonight!
"Come on, Jenna, you can spare a dollar."
"You know I could, but I have two kids to take care of."
"Yeah, but what if he has kids?"
"If he has kids, they're old enough to take care of his ass! They could at least put his ass in a home!"
"He probably doesn't have kids."
"Yeah, you're probably right."
(Also thrown in there were a few thought about the fact that I have some coupons for a free chicken sandwich from Chick-fil-A and maybe he'd like a couple.)
Ok, so I may be SLIGHTLY crazy....but only a little! Anyway, the rest of the ride home I just kept thinking that I should've, at least, given him a dollar. DAMN MY GUILTY CONSCIENCE!!! I always feel bad if I don't go out of my way to help someone I could've. It goes so far as I was at the commisary and this older lady was trying to park her car, but couldn't get it straight. I was waiting to walk past her to go into the store and she just kind of looked at me so I mouthed, "Do you need some help?" And she gave me the biggest, most grateful looking smile. She got out of her car, and I SQUEEEEZED myself (seriously, I'm 5'10" and this lady was maybe, MAYBE 5'3") into the drives seat (I didn't want to move the seat) and parked her boat of a car for her. She gave me a big ol' smile and said how hard it is to park in the tiny spaces (mind you, this was a handcap spot :D ). She was so sweet. And then everytime she saw me inside, she'd stop and chat for a minute. I love doing stuff that makes people smile. Maybe that's why I'm always cracking jokes. Either that or I have nothing intellectual or relevent to contribute. But whatever.
I have to finish this up, but I just found out we're having unexpected company so I have to go home and straighten up the house! Hopefully I'll get a minute tonight!
I know what you mean about giving people who beg money. I feel bad that they're out on the street... but here? I just want to be the asshole who says "get a fucking job you bum". THAT I feel guilty about. I know that it's hard for people with no fixed address to get a job, I totally hear that. I just know that there are soooo many good resources in our city that are willing and able to help people find work, and find a place to stay until they get back on their feet. I guess I just don't see much of an excuse for begging.
I don't like to give people money, so once I gave a girl my mittens, and I've taken people to get a burger or something similar before. I just refuse to give cash. *shrugs*
Posted by
Kait |
10/13/2006 12:36:00 PM
Sweet of you to help that lady!
Giving is so much better than receiving ain't it?
I would have felt bad too, same type of thing happens to me. Maybe you can drive back to the area one day and he will still be there? ;)
Posted by
Anonymous |
10/13/2006 03:21:00 PM
You are so good!! I would have helped granny too, I love old people :p
But man, if I see someone standing at the corner with a sign in their hands, I usually lock my car. I know, they would probably not jump into my car and rob me, but you never know. It pisses me off when I read "Vietnam Vet - anything helps". Yeah dude, if you are a vietnam vet, why are you on the street? Because you probably pulled some shit and they kicked your ass out of the military and now you don't get any benefits anymore. Anything helps? I bet a little bottle of Captain Morgan would help best, eh!?
Posted by
Anonymous |
10/13/2006 09:34:00 PM
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