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29 July 2006
And so it begins...
I was reading through some blogs today (mainly RockStar Mommy), and decided that I should finally create one, since I've wanted to for awhile, I just hadn't. So here's my lame attempt to kick one off. I have a lot of crap to talk about today, so I decided I'd start off by posing a question: why is it that some commercial jingles have such a viral effect? Like a MIND VIRUS. I swear, I was up half the damn night last night trying to remember all the lyrics to the song on the Spearmint/Doublemint commercial. I just COULD NOT let myself go to sleep! I almost got up and GOOGLED the damn words! I could go through the WHOLE song, but there was one part where I couldn't remember TWO WORDS! Two frickin' words were keeping me up. So today I was watching TV and lo and behold, that stupid commercial comes on. "Like the delicious, MILD MINT flavor of Wrigley's Spearmint and Doublemint gum!" MILD MINT!!! The words MILD MINT were keeping me up? Who the hell comes up with those lyrics anyway, a five year old? I mean COME ON... So in the end, I may still have those god forsaken lyrics running through my head, but at least the song is complete! Now, moving on...
My son... my beautiful, sweet, 18-month-old son... I have so many endearing stories about him... But this one is NOT one of those stories. So yesterday I was sitting here at the computer, with BabyGirl chillin' on my chest, and I decided I was gonna go lay her down on the bed, as she was producing WAY more heat than a one-month-old should. So I pass by my beautiful, sweet, 18-month-old sons room and I get an OVERWHELMING whiff of shit. Ok, so he's got a stinky diaper, easy enough. So I lay BabyGirl on my bed and proceed back to D-Bo's room. As I stand there in pure horror, I look at my DIAPERLESS son, and the shitacular mess I now have to deal with. One word: OHMIFUCKINGGOD! So I wipe what shit I could from his ass, and take him swiftly to the bathtub. Next comes the huge, pink bunny Roz got BabyGirl. So I let my beautiful, sweet, 18-month-old SHIT COVERED son play in the bathtub, while I get the honor of scrapping my son's butt paste out of the carpet. Fun, Fun for everyone. Once the carpet and dear son are restored to their shitless state, it's on to poor Ms. Bunny. I couldn't tell if she was supposed to be pink or brown (ok, so I exaggerate a little, sue me.) Anyway, now bunny is clean. IT'S MOMMY'S TURN!!! A person should never need a shower because they have someone else's SHIT on them. Welcome to Motherhood. Isn't my life grand???
Moving on. I don't know if this is in direct relation to the Shitstravaganza that occured earlier in the day, or if it was just something lurking in the depths of my imagination, but last nights dream was...frickin' WEIRD. I don't usually write my dreams down, but this one was bizarre enough to warrant the use of pen and paper. I won't go into the whole thing (it took three pages of college-ruled notebook paper just to get it all down), but I will cover the basics. I was in a grocery store, doing a project for a class (don't ask, I have NO idea) and someone, can't remember who, and I were gathering supplies. There was a part about the bathroom and me trying to get toilet paper to blow my nose, and something about a really cool shower. Anyway, then I was at a table with my Aunt Janet and some other people, getting slices of cake. Why there was a table of cake everyone was eating in the grocery store, I don't know. I asked my aunt what kind of cakes there were, and she pointed to one and said it was merangue (merangue cake???) and then pointed to another and said it was something, can't remember, but it was like a pie-cake and it was filled with pieces of apples and bananas... Ok, I'm getting a little too in depth, let me back out a little. So then people started freaking out and running around like little boys at Michael Jackson house, and we all start running towards the doors. I tried to grab some alcohol on my way out (figures!) and then there was this killer red peanut attacking people (told you it was weird). Just picture Mr. Peanut- red, arm and legless, without the cane, tophat, or eyeglass, oh and no smile, and you've got the guy from my dream. He had something written on the front of him in white print, but I don't know what it said. ANYWHO, moving on, I ran out into the parking lot and couldn't find my car (No, ME???) and started begging people for a ride. One guy even laughed in my FACE and drove off (bastard). Then I saw my dad and we started walking to his truck, and the peanut dude got him and I drove off in the truck (pretty f'd up huh? LOL), there was no saving him. I drove around my hometown, and blew off some kid that wanted a ride (wait, I'm such a hypocrite...) and that was pretty much the end. After I got done writing this all down, I remembered something about killer goldfish, and I'm talking the CRACKER, not the animal. There was something about the red ones being evil, and I was the orange ones... or something like that. (If you enterpret dreams, and you have ANY idea what that crap means, hit me up, I'm curious!)
Nothing like making everyone think I'm crazy to kickstart my blog!
My son... my beautiful, sweet, 18-month-old son... I have so many endearing stories about him... But this one is NOT one of those stories. So yesterday I was sitting here at the computer, with BabyGirl chillin' on my chest, and I decided I was gonna go lay her down on the bed, as she was producing WAY more heat than a one-month-old should. So I pass by my beautiful, sweet, 18-month-old sons room and I get an OVERWHELMING whiff of shit. Ok, so he's got a stinky diaper, easy enough. So I lay BabyGirl on my bed and proceed back to D-Bo's room. As I stand there in pure horror, I look at my DIAPERLESS son, and the shitacular mess I now have to deal with. One word: OHMIFUCKINGGOD! So I wipe what shit I could from his ass, and take him swiftly to the bathtub. Next comes the huge, pink bunny Roz got BabyGirl. So I let my beautiful, sweet, 18-month-old SHIT COVERED son play in the bathtub, while I get the honor of scrapping my son's butt paste out of the carpet. Fun, Fun for everyone. Once the carpet and dear son are restored to their shitless state, it's on to poor Ms. Bunny. I couldn't tell if she was supposed to be pink or brown (ok, so I exaggerate a little, sue me.) Anyway, now bunny is clean. IT'S MOMMY'S TURN!!! A person should never need a shower because they have someone else's SHIT on them. Welcome to Motherhood. Isn't my life grand???
Moving on. I don't know if this is in direct relation to the Shitstravaganza that occured earlier in the day, or if it was just something lurking in the depths of my imagination, but last nights dream was...frickin' WEIRD. I don't usually write my dreams down, but this one was bizarre enough to warrant the use of pen and paper. I won't go into the whole thing (it took three pages of college-ruled notebook paper just to get it all down), but I will cover the basics. I was in a grocery store, doing a project for a class (don't ask, I have NO idea) and someone, can't remember who, and I were gathering supplies. There was a part about the bathroom and me trying to get toilet paper to blow my nose, and something about a really cool shower. Anyway, then I was at a table with my Aunt Janet and some other people, getting slices of cake. Why there was a table of cake everyone was eating in the grocery store, I don't know. I asked my aunt what kind of cakes there were, and she pointed to one and said it was merangue (merangue cake???) and then pointed to another and said it was something, can't remember, but it was like a pie-cake and it was filled with pieces of apples and bananas... Ok, I'm getting a little too in depth, let me back out a little. So then people started freaking out and running around like little boys at Michael Jackson house, and we all start running towards the doors. I tried to grab some alcohol on my way out (figures!) and then there was this killer red peanut attacking people (told you it was weird). Just picture Mr. Peanut- red, arm and legless, without the cane, tophat, or eyeglass, oh and no smile, and you've got the guy from my dream. He had something written on the front of him in white print, but I don't know what it said. ANYWHO, moving on, I ran out into the parking lot and couldn't find my car (No, ME???) and started begging people for a ride. One guy even laughed in my FACE and drove off (bastard). Then I saw my dad and we started walking to his truck, and the peanut dude got him and I drove off in the truck (pretty f'd up huh? LOL), there was no saving him. I drove around my hometown, and blew off some kid that wanted a ride (wait, I'm such a hypocrite...) and that was pretty much the end. After I got done writing this all down, I remembered something about killer goldfish, and I'm talking the CRACKER, not the animal. There was something about the red ones being evil, and I was the orange ones... or something like that. (If you enterpret dreams, and you have ANY idea what that crap means, hit me up, I'm curious!)
Nothing like making everyone think I'm crazy to kickstart my blog!
